I don't want to know.

I don't know what on Earth convinced me that I could consistently post on a blog. I'm experiencing growth, but I don't have the words to convey the many things that have happened this year. I'm no word smith, and I can't fashion a vessel of beauty from words. A formation of letters can't describe what's in my heart, etched in my soul.  The glory of God said, "Wake up, you weary sinner. You're alive in Me." I'm no longer a ghost to this world, a host to my sin, I am free from one bondage, but now a slave to another. Proclaiming Christ to the world, but not my own brother. Became a lady in waiting, a lady of virtue, and diligence, and reckless abandonment. There's a growing love so strong, I don't know if I can handle it. At least not on my own. But there's one on a throne. Of righteous, holiness, that can take me through the valley of death. So I can then inhale the Spirit with my very next breath. To love the least of these is my greatest offering, Lord. I'll defend your good name with peace, and a Sword. I will agape the people around me, so that one day they may see...the goodness and glory of God Almighty, who sent down His son to love us so rightly.

The creator of the universe...all of the stars in the heaven, all of the planets...so infinitely large, perfect, holy, good, gracious, merciful, so...indescribable, came down to Earth as a vulnerable, tiny human baby, grew up as a man, got his feet dirty walking on the same ground as the rest of humanity while sharing His message of love and redemption, was then scorned by man, and then killed...to do the impossible. He rose. He defeated the grave. He is alive.

I am alive, resurrected from my own death (because sin only leads to death) because of Christ.

All that he asks us in return is to love Him, and those who He loves.

So the moral of this journey?


We love because Christ first loved us. (1 John 4:19)

I raise my white flag. (Passion 2012)

No clever or witty title here. I've recently returned from Passion. It's a four day conference held in Atlanta for university aged students to gather for days of powerful messages and worship. The whole experience is so hard to sum up...needless to say, everyday offered a message that God intended for me to hear. The first day, the man who leads the Passion conferences, Louie Giglio,spoke about how Christ intercedes in our lives at just the right moments. He referenced Luke 7:11-17, in which Jesus raises a man from the dead. When Christ sees the dead man, he touched the coffin and told the dead man to get up. Because Christ is powerful and fully God, the man arose. Like the man in the story, we are dead in our sin. Christ is telling us to "get up" and through Him, we can be risen from the death that our sinful nature brings us. We are dead until we accept Christ. We are dead until Christ reawakens us and transforms us. We need to die to ourselves and be made new in Christ. We're alive, alive, alive in Him.

I needed so desperately to awaken. After this first message, it was obvious that God had me at that conference for a reason.

After that, we separated into our community groups. We discussed Ephesians 2:1-9, focusing on the grace that God bestowed on us and how we are constantly falling short. I will always fall short of what the Lord wants when I allow the enemy to blind me to God's truth.

The next day, the second session basically reiterated what Louie talked about in the first session; Christ is constantly interceding in our lives. Beth Moore spoke on Luke 8:40-53. Christ was ready to heal a dying girl, and in the middle of this story, he heals a woman who had been bleeding for 12 years. He was in the middle of healing a dying girl, and stopped to heal a woman of faith. We're surrounded by a greater narrative, yet Christ still chooses to intercede and raise us from our sleeping state and satisfy our need for the Lord. The thing that spoke to me the most was when Beth, clearly being used as a mouthpiece to God, said that "there is no way that my own suffering is unseen by God. Even when I can't hear or feel Him, He is sovereign and because of this I can be assured that He's still there." After weeks, even months of silence from the Lord, I could hear Him speaking to me through this woman. When I lay down the things from my heart that need the most healing (these things that deafened me to God's voice) He will set me FREE. I will walk in His freedom when I trust He will intercede for my needs.

A big part of the conference focused on freedom. Passion's Do Something Now campaign focused on human trafficking. Today, there are 27 million people enslaved in the world. As Christians, we cannot stand by and watch as this injustice continues around us. We are called by Christ to help His people, and stop modern slavery. Our goal for the entire conference was to raise 1 million dollars for the movement. We raised over 3 million. I am so blessed to have started my year praising the Lord with a generation of believers that are willing to stand against injustice and put Christ before themselves. Witnessing complete and utter surrender to the powerful and sovereign God has refueled my devotion to my Savior. 

The last session of the second day was lead by Francis Chan. I highly respect this man of God. He's just so human. One of the main things he spoke about was believing fully in, and reading the Word of God. That His Word and news is true. That there is no shame in this powerful, faithful, real, true God. It's so important to know His word to be able to discern from His truths and the enemy's lies. I should not be blindly following someone else for reference. I (or anyone else) should be careful of my own heart, reading His word in context, not twisting certain verses to justify my own selfish, twisted desires. It's so important to take God's word seriously. I need to be obedient to His commands. I need to trust that through the blood cleansing sacrifice of Christ grants me everlasting life and I there is no need to be ashamed of His beautiful promises.

John Piper was one of the last guest speakers at the conference. There's something quite refreshing about being challenged about my faith mentally. He represents what it means to worship God not only with the heart or soul, but with the mind. I feel like I often neglect that aspect of my faith and love. Worship isn't simply singing a few songs. It's living out your life in reverence and love to our Holy Creator. I almost let a tear slip as he described the sovereignty of God. He wasn't even close to fully grasping the full picture of God, but that's part of what makes the Lord so mighty. I wouldn't want to serve a God who could be easily summed up in a few words.  Most importantly, his message of freedom through Christ is what did me over. Being satisfied in the gift Christ has given me, breaking away from the enslavement of sin and becoming enslaved to His righteousness is what will set me free. How I long for this freedom. Truth be told, I have been in a valley for what seems like a long time. But when I think about the supremacy of Christ, His authority, His providence, all of His glory...I realize how entirely broken I really am. I need to rely on God to draw me nearer to Him, to bind me up, to transform my soul. When this transformation occurs, I hope that my heart will become so large, so full of Christ and His love, that sin become small and insignificant. Because compared to the goodness of the Lord, sin is very small. It has no sting, and the death it causes has no victory. His glory is so beautiful. I have been resurrected in Christ and I am alive in Him.

I'm not really sure how to wrap this up. I could talk about the last day, about the worship, about Louis' last inspiring words. What I think is most important, however, is to bring up the feeling as I left the conference. Something that is still resonating within me at this very moment. God is bigger and more powerful than anyone in that conference. He is bigger than the crowds, He is more than the Dome could contain, He is wiser than the speakers, He is more beautiful than the songs could ever proclaim. I am small, but a part of something so much greater than myself. I'm a part of a larger body, of a beautiful bride of Christ.I get to celebrate this day and life that the Lord has made. The plans He has for His children will shine His glory to all of creation. I am blessed to be a part of this experience only through His loving grace and mercy.

 (This young man did a wonderful cover of one of the songs presented at the conference.  

It's called "White Flag" by Christ Tomlin.)

Dear Lord,
For once there is no coherent, eloquently phrased prayer here. You know the current desires of my heart, and I ask that you change them to be your desires. I pray that I will have the courage and boldness to proclaim your truth to those that I encounter. I ask that I will be consistent in your word. I ask for wisdom to apply your word to my life and live by action. I want to be free in you. Bring me to life, if you will, and allow me to become a slave to your righteousness. Rid me of myself. Ruin me. Break me. Do whatever it takes, and draw me nearer to you. I ask for the strength to be reminded of your presence. I ask for your grace to get through the days ahead and the need to cling to you. I praise you so much for your constant grace, your mercy, your freedom, you providence, your sovereignty, your righteousness, your goodness, your holiness, your kindness, your love, your teaching, your wisdom. I praise you for being the great I AM, for simply being God. I thank you for loving a wretch like me and I thank you for these trials. It's in your precious son's name I pray,

Amen.


What did the tie say to the hat?
You go on a head, I'll just hang around.
(: God bless!

Imagine That.

 I haven't been very good at updating this blog. To be honest, school has been weighing me down so much, that I've barely had time to sleep. Not to mention there have been a lot of other distractions in my life lately. Now that the semester is over, I might have more time to write and update. Anyways, here's a poem that I wrote during the summer that I got inspiration for while thinking about some of the things that God is to me. It's very simplistic, with a spontaneous structure. It's a very simple way for me to describe who and what is waiting for everyone that accepts the offer of His proposal.

Imagine That.

Imagine a heart
constructed out of Love.

Imagine a love that is
Unadulterated.
Pure.
Unconditional.
Agape.

Imagine a Sun
with its majesty.
With its warmth.
With its light.

Imagine a warrior
who fights to the end.
Who fights for life
and righteousness.
Who fights for
you.

Imagine a groom.
Waiting for his bride
With love in his heart .
And in his eyes
Is a light that shines
Like a sun.
Fighting its way
For your mind.
For your life.
For your heart.

Imagine that
At this very moment
That heart.
That love.
That sun.
That warrior.
That groom.
Is waiting for you.

Now imagine
That you said yes.

I finished reading the Divine Romance a few weeks ago, and it blew me away. The beautiful prose, the narrative approach to God's story, of this ultimate love story, was so profound to me. Christ has chosen to love this sinful, unworthy, fallen, broken creature. He has chosen to love me. He has chosen to love you. We were predestined to be one of God's children, to be a part of something so much bigger than ourselves. We were called to be part of the bride of Christ. I don't know about anyone else, but I can't wait for that day to come.

Dear Lord,
I thank you so much for the gift that you have given me. I'm so thankful that because of your gift, and your sacrifice, that I can put on your cloak of righteousness. I pray that you will continue to shine your light and goodness in my life and through me, show your love to those I interact with. I pray that you would create a hunger within those closest to me, and that they will realize that you are the living bread, the only thing that can satisfy that hunger. I pray that they will begin to imagine a life where they accept your offer of everlasting life. You are so good to me, always faithful and I love you. It's in your precious name, Jesus, that I pray,

Amen.

What does a nosy pepper do?
It get's jalapeno business!
Bahahaha. I love me some puns.
God bless.

The Most Fearful Warrior in the World.

God has been showing me many things since I've started back at school. It never ceases to amaze me how much he reiterates what it is He wants me to hear from Him. That just shows you how much I'm paying attention. Err, I mean it's not like I hear His message, His plans for me and then pretend I didn't hear what He asked of me. Only I'd be lying if I said that. And you can't lie to God. I've found that oftentimes when I hear something and it doesn't match up to what I want in my life at the time, or if it's out of my comfort zone, then I just don't want to do it. It looks a lot like this:

I'm sittin' in church, or I'm in bible study, at one of my fellowships, or even just having quiet time with God...then BAM! My eyes grow wide. *gulp* Yes, I was praying for wisdom, and for God to show me His plans for me...yeah okay, so I asked the Lord to use me as a vessel to shine His light and glory to this campus...but surely this isn't what He meant. *Twiddles thumbs, awkwardly stares around.* Ahem. God, I think you were talking to the other Rebbecca. The other Rebbecca praying to be used as a vessel. The other Rebbecca praying for guidance. Surely, you must have intended this message for someone else.

How easy it would be to ignore God's wisdom, if He wasn't such a persistent, powerful, wise, mighty Lord. Fortunately, He is all of those things and so much more. So, I must release all of my fear and doubt...and learn to step out in faith.

I must be bold in Christ. How I struggle so with such a thing. Boldness isn't something I was born with. If anything, I'd say I was a coward. But I'm not. I am not a coward. When I am on the side of the most righteous, then nothing can sand against me. I will fear no man, for what hold does man have over me? As believers, we have authority over all things that try to oppress us. As believers, we are given the Armor of God, we are WARRIORS for Christ.

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people."
(Ephesians 6:10-18 NIV)

With this gift, we are able to stand up against all things. Although it's still a constant struggle, with constant prayer I can boldly proclaim His kingdom, and fulfill His purposes.

Dear father God,

I thank you so much for the gift of your son. I rejoice in the fact that you will get me through all things, and that when I trust in you, and you alone, I have no reason to fear. I will fear NO evil, nor man. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven, father God. I thank you for being the perfect, sovereign Lord that you are. Lord, use me as the vessel that will shine your light on this campus, because in you, I am the light of the world. You are so wonderful, and so so good to me. Use me as you will, father, and I pray that the Spirit will move me to be bold so that you can work through all whom I encounter. It's all for you and for your glory.  I love you. It's in your precious, precious son's name I pray,

Amen.


Why did the scientist take the door bell off his door?
To win the NO BELL prize!
Ahahahahaha! God is so good to bless me with a sense of humor.
God bless!

Fast Times at No Sugar High.

I'm going to keep this post short, for the 2 whole people who read this blog. I'm going to take a break from my 30 attributes/names of God posts. I'm going to continue posting them weekly soon, because huzzah! School is starting in two weeks. Who would have thought I'd miss that rinky dinky old east Texas town. Lo and behold, it has dug a little crevice into my heart.

Today, I am starting day one of a twenty one day fast. A few days ago, the fast was made known to me when someone mentioned their own struggle while on this particular fast. I will be limited to things that come from a seed (fruits, vegetables, whole grains), and water.

 "But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine, and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself this way. Now God had caused the official to show favor and compassion to Daniel, but the official told Daniel, “I am afraid of my lord the king, who has assigned your food and drink. Why should he see you looking worse than the other young men your age? The king would then have my head because of you.”

  Daniel then said to the guard whom the chief official had appointed over Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah, “Please test your servants for ten days: Give us nothing but vegetables* to eat and water to drink." (Daniel 1:8-12)

*the original translation uses pulse, instead of vegetables. Pulse, being edible seeds and things grown from them.

I'm also going to cut out all meat and dairy products, all sugar/sweeteners and chemical additives, processed white flour/leavened bread.

"At that time I, Daniel, mourned for three weeks.  I ate no choice food; no meat or wine touched my lips; nor did I anoint myself at all until the three weeks were over." (Daniel 10:2-3)

Yeah, that's right. No sugar or sweeteners of any kind. No hamburgers. No tasty, tasty chocolate milk. I'm pretty sure that food will begin speaking to me after the first week. And not the good kind of biblical, wise knowledge that I need. Oi vey.

In a perfect world, I would easily deny myself all of the things that separate me from the heavenly father. Alas, as the world is so full of sin, I too am vulnerable to the attacks of temptation.As difficult as it's going to be, there is a purpose to denying myself these worldly pleasures.  I am attempting to bring myself closer to the Almighty creator, and seek out His purposes for me.

If you're reading this, I encourage you to join me on this fast. Who knows, it may surprise you what you're capable of when you depend wholly on the Lord. Let yourself be embraced by the perfect Father.

Dear heavenly father,

I thank you for having mercy on me. I thank you for showing me compassion. I thank you for giving me the strength to put the spirit above the flesh, and to live wholly in You. Be with me as I make this difficult journey into unknown territories. As my body is put to the test, I ask that you bless me with Your presence and the strength to carry on. You are a great, perfect God and I cannot thank you enough for the mercy and grace you bestow upon me, and those who ask of it. Let me be consumed from the inside out in the Spirit, and let not me be consumed by the things in which I consume. In your precious son's name I pray,

Amen.

Here's a joke I've been sharing a lot lately, because well...I really like it!

What did one toilet say to the other?

Are you okay, I'm a worried about you. You look a bit flushed.

Bahahahahaha. Man, that's probably one of my favorites.

Peace and blessings!

God is Jehovah.

I'm not so sure why it's taken me a week to post, but here it goes. By the way if any of you guys get that reference, you're probably also aware that 90's era Nick shows are playing on Teen Nick! I'm pretty ecstatic, I feel as if some of the best times of my life are on replay.

Anyway, let's bring this back to God, 'cause frankly He's the only one who really matters. It's His name, His story, His existence that should be shared with the world, not my own. One of the most essential, most basic things to understand about God is that He is.

"Moses said to God, “Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what shall I tell them?”

God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I AM has sent me to you.’”

God also said to Moses, “Say to the Israelites, ‘The LORD, the God of your fathers—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob—has sent me to you."

'This is my name forever,

the name you shall call me

from generation to generation.'

-(Exodus 3:13-15)

Whoa there, that's some pretty powerful stuff he's packing there. His very name is AM. Imagine a scenario where you meet God face to face.

"Hey, my name's Rebbecca, what's your name?"

"I AM who I AM."

"Ahem, come again?"

"I AM."

Gulp. I'd probably pee my pants where I was standing if He said that to me. Of course, if something like that were really to occur, I'd doubt I'd be able to get a word in edgewise. I'd fall to my knees, and pull an Isaiah. God's no joke, and I personally can't wait to be in His presence when the time comes. Let's just hope that I can dutifully obey the commands of the one who deserves it. And there's only one being in creation who does deserve it.

His name is Jehovah, and guys he's the one true Lord of Irael! He is the God that breathed life into dust and spoke the heavens into existence. We must recognize that he IS. "His very name holds so much meaning behind it, and once we delve into His very nature, we will praise Him for simply being. Because his "Let them know that you, whose name is the LORD-that you alone are the Most High over all the earth." (Psalm 83:18)

 He is good and is to be greatly praised. Here's a worship song that most people should be familiar with- and why shouldn't it be? Its message be sung from the rooftops!

 

Yes, God is great and if I'd be keen enough to remember that, I'd live to show it. 

Dear God,

You never cease to amaze me. Even when there were times in my life when I doubted your existence, you found a way to turn things around to Your glory. Now it's your very existence that sustains me. I can't imagine getting through life without knowing You. Your name has brought untold joy and fulfillment into my life. By simply existing, I know that there is something greater than the world would like to have me believe. I thank you for being who You are, and I praise Your name. You are Jehovah, the Lord of my Life. It's in your precious son's name I pray, 

Amen.

There's no time like pun time.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? 

He's all right now.

Ahahahaha. Thank you God, for humor. 

God is not a white man.

Hello, hello world! I never thought I would be someone who would start a blog. Yeah, yeah I was just another girl who thought I was somehow...above blogging. Snort. Anywho, here I am now.